Tuesday, November 9, 2021, 12-1:30 p.m.
Divorce Options,™ hosted by the Oregon Association of Collaborative Professionals, is an online workshop that provides unbiased information about different divorce methods for divorcing spouses and separating partners to help them intelligently and respectfully plan for the post-separation future. Sign-up here.
COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE MATERIALS
The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) is the driving force behind the global growth of cost-efficient, out-of-court, conflict resolution. Learn more about Collaborative Divorce and the benefits to you, your children, and your family.
The Academy of Professional Family Mediators is an excellent resource for articles to learn how mediation may benefit you and your family.
Arizona has compiled an excellent guide regarding parenting time recommendations for parents. The booklet offers several comprehensive suggestions for parenting time for each parent based on the child's age and offers a number of questions and considerations for the parents. The guide reminds parents that parenting time is based on the child's needs and situation, not the parents. The guide is not limited to Arizona and could be used in any state, including Oregon.
IMPACT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
“In this video, I explain what children want from their parents in their divorce.”
A child who is involved in the divorce process is all of a sudden having their world essentially turned upside down because the world as they knew it is going to be substantially different. It's going to be forever different. The children want to know that they are going to have access to both of their parents that were there during their life up to the divorce process. They also want to have stability and security. They want to know where they're going to be, which is why it's important to have a structured parenting plan. They also want to know that they're not going to have a person whom they love denigrated by the other parent, and undermined by the other parents. It's best for children not to be in the center of the conflict, in the center of the storm.
Adult children are often forgotten in a divorce. Here are some ways that adult children can be taken care of in a divorce. Click on these links to learn more about mediation and collaborative divorce.
It's ideal if the adult children are able to understand that there's a reason that both parties are getting a divorce. The mediator can bring the adult children into the mediation process with the permission of the clients, of course, to talk about the issues with their parents during the divorce process. That could even happen during a collaborative divorce process, if that's something that's important to the clients to have their needs met.
Divorce can have a significant impact on children at all levels, as explained by this excellent article by Natalie Maximets, The Long Term Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children at Mediate.com. The article talks about some of the impacts and possible ways to minimize the impacts.
MENTAL HEALTH PROVIDERS
Families need a great deal of support while going through emotionally difficult or traumatic events, such as divorce or separation. Portland Public Schools publishes a list of mental health providers in the Portland metro area.Clarity Law LLC recognizes the benefits of obtaining mental health support, but does not specifically endorse any of the listed agencies. Each organization has their own independent mission and vision. Insurance companies have care coordinators that can assist in determining best resource fit. If a child does not have health insurance their school nurse can help get them connected to insurance no matter their citizenship status.
The attorney really needs to work closely with the clients to uncover the fears, and especially at the outset of the process, so that the clients are aware that they can go to their attorney and have their attorney and have their mediator understand their fears, understand what the goals are for each client moving through the process. They're not going to have the same living arrangements that they had when they were married. There's going to be a splitting of assets. There's going to be a loss of contact with the children. That drives a lot of fear and a lot of concerns that people have. Those fears are reasonable. Those fears are rational. But those fears can be understood and appreciated by the mediator, by the attorney, so that those fears can be, I guess, mitigated moving forward.
When people are over 50, then they have a lot of other issues that need to be addressed. The majority of working life is not behind them and so, if you are distributing a retirement fund and splitting a retirement fund, then you're not going to have as much time to make up any amount that one person has lost in their retirement fund, so there are a number of issues that need to be addressed in the gray divorce process that may not be at issue when you have much younger people who are getting divorced.